Sunday, March 6, 2016

Waiting To Board



To exit. To slip out of this body fraught 
With lightning, vessel of storms 
I've finally got my ticket. A decade of sighs I've 
Condensed and pressed to a stub as dumb as I 
Aspire to be. 

I have been sentenced to life. The veins within 
Me have become violent, revolting against their 
Redness, piercing the barrier. 
Up and over the freshly torn trench, they 
Paint me in poppies. 

Their trusted gush gives me nothing but a pair 
Of slacks in the trash. But here you are, 
Alabaster attendant, on this foamy port, 
Platform of chokes, with your queer ear cupped 
And attentive just as I'm to go. 

I do not want my luggage, the misshapen 
Mountain of trunks, sizzling and screaming with 
Their hoods rotted nearly to fizz. Who would 
Wish to keep such a tumor of boxes, a wildly 
Unpredictable hump of the back. 

The flesh of memory cannot possibly squeeze 
Inside whatever this is 
That's the point, is it not? To molt with finality, 
To willingly gift my wasted breath to the 
Infinitely dense and infinitely needy curtain as it 
Swings to shut all eyes. 

I'll call it a loophole for the time being, even 
With air this thick, space invaded by the 
Spewed fumes of the sacks. They drip from my 
Limbs, abominable fruit, stalactites of 
Somethings that cling with sour avidity. 
The palls have always hung and eddied round 
My sort of life. 

Plane of ivory, ship of silence, great bird or 
Grave train or gust of black wind, I've no 
Concern of which face it forms. 
Richly disposed, I have been waiting to board, 
To shake free the malodorous cases, tongue 
Dry, and slide, wholly and compliantly, 
Into stillness.

15 comments:

  1. Life is hard when adoring the unreachable... very vivid words here today...

    I might be mistaken but I rarely see you commenting on any other poem when linking up... don't you think it would be more fun to participate a little more?

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    Replies
    1. Dearest brudberg,
      This is the second time I've been castigated for not "participating" enough when linking my writing for open link nights. I'll rephrase what I've stated before: I do read fellow poets contributions, and I do comment on them as well. If there is an unspoken quota of how many I am to respond to, please enlighten me. I work 40 hours a week, attend college, and am currently in the throes of a mental battle pitted against myself. I apologize that I lack the necessary time to meet your standards, but when I post a poem, the first poem I've written in six months since my grandfather passed away, only to have this recurring "issue" thrown in my face, I find it rather discouraging to my writing process and, for lack of a better word, petty. I am doing what I can. I am participating as much as I can, and I think I speak for all when I implore you to refrain from making writers feel unwelcome in sharing their work here.

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  2. We show so many faces, each different for each emotion. A very interesting poem.

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  3. This is very powerful and there is so much emotion. I like the idea of the train/ship/bird at the end and waiting to board. Good luck with all the pressures in your life. It can be such a balancing act.

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  4. That ending stanza is a killer ~ Love the passionate voice, while waiting to board ~

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  5. Feel you reaching and stretching here Ben and admire your ambition to shed light on the essence of things. I will be back for more to see where your digging goes next... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com

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  6. Intense and gripping..a great read.

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  7. This is phenomenal poetry. You should be very proud of this piece. I'm so sorry about your grandfather. And I do hope you'll try to continue writing---even if your funky background makes me go a little cross-eyed. ;)

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    Replies
    1. I am so drawn to this:

      "Paint me in poppies.

      Their trusted gush gives me nothing"

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    2. I'm so sorry for responding so late, but thank you SO much. You have no idea how much it means to feel supported lately. Thank you, anisa. Much love.

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  8. Indeed you are a poet. Your images are fresh and your soul seeks wings through words, no images. You take us on a journey to the center of angst, of wonder, of weariness and yet we exit your poem refreshed by your talent, and the splendor of the beauty we have witnessed there. Well penned.

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  9. Very interesting piece. I enjoyed it.
    ZQ

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  10. Ha! flabbergasted
    that you are
    chastised by
    one of the
    administrators
    here on what you
    do free or not
    to participate..
    remember it like yesterday
    when four wolves jumped
    on you 6 months
    ago..
    It's really hilariious
    when they do it
    to someone
    as happy
    as me..
    but when
    they do it
    where the poem
    itself says the writer
    is dealing with his own
    inner demons..
    it's
    just plain
    cruel and a measure
    of the dwindling empathy
    of some humans
    online..
    anyway..
    doubt seriously
    they would have
    done it to your face..
    that would
    have
    required
    human
    grace
    of even
    being
    human..
    Keep writing
    friend.. and there
    is a way out of the
    deepest
    dArk
    i've
    ever seen
    iN Life for sure..
    little men reign
    big
    in online
    hate..
    but Love
    WiLL always
    WiN iN the
    fearless
    end
    mY friEnd..:)

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  11. Thank you so much, my friend. You have no idea how much your support means to me. :)

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